My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
