Don't you send me to vm
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
