my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
