His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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