do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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