She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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