I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
