What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize