I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
