There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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