the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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