if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Congratulations! We have a period
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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