if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
