I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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