so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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