I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
