enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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