I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
