Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I bet he comes in French.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I didn't notice because vodka
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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