okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
