If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
