I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
