I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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