I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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