Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
