Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize