I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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