we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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