Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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