two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
