It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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