I hate your face
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
