a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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