yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
