thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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