Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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