After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
