his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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