The maid of honor just puked.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
