i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
