so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
