I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
