i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
