Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we're so committed to being not committed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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