Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
