Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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