dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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