At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
