i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
