I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
