It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
