Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
