Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
