just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
