Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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