Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
